A list of puns related to "Cutlery"
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong
My 9-year-old son Luke was forgetting to use his cutlery again at dinner.
So in my best Obi-Wan Kenobi voice I said, "Luke, use the fork!"
A priest was getting very annoyed with his young parishioners during dinner time and said if they continued misbehaving even the cutlery would be punished.
One boy said to another: "What? the fork in hell?"
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesnβt work properly
No forks were given
What's a pirate's favourite brand of cutlery?
Long John Silverware
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
I was at a lunch with the family and we were eating with plastic cutlery. Two of the prongs of my fork broke, my dad turns to me and says...
"Looks like your fork is now a twok"
The Cheerio story
So once upon a time, there was a planet shaped like a cheerio. A small moon made of milk or tied the planet, going through the center of the donut shaped world. On this planet, lived an interesting species. They acted and lived similarly to us humans? But looked just like large Cheerios (with footings hands and feet like miis)Within this society there were levels of Cheerios: original, honey nut, and finally frosted. The originals were the backbone of the economy, doing the herd labor while the honey nuts ran the businesses and the frosted Cheerios (the top of the top) led the world.Our story today focuses on a single Cheerio. Born into an original Cheerio family, this lad learned the hard way how to work. From a young age, he was forced to get a job in the local milk refinery, where his dad worked. He grew up, and soon had a family of his own. His wife, son, and daughter all worked hard, but were happy. One day walking home from school, the kids found a runaway honey nut Cheerio pup, and decided to keep him. It wasnβt much, but it inspired our little Cheerio friend here.One day, he got fed up with taking orders, and demanded a raise. His entire family has worked in this one factory for three generations, and he wanted to move up in the world, not just for him but also his kids. His old boss however, did not have the power to promote this Cheerio, and he was forced to make a life changing decision: he would go to the refinery company and use every penny in the family savings account (under the bed) to try and get a higher position. After waiting on line for over a week, his appoint was finally here. After bickering and bargaining for hours, the refinery company boss saw a spark in this ladβs eye.He agreed to give this Cheerio a promotion to the honored honey nut glaze in exchange for everything this man owned, including the familyβs prized honey nut dog. Was it worth it? Well pretty soon he owned his own milk refinery and was able to breed his own honey nut dogs, so yes, yes it was.Owning and operating the refinery went smoothly. Milk was transported from the moon to the planet using space busses, and the milk itself was funneled down to the refineries using large straws. After the milk was ready to drink, it was shipped off to be sold.He was happy working here, but eventually he realized it wasnβt enough. This Cheerio, once a simple original Cheerio wanted to follow the βAmerican dreamβ and do the best he could. He wanted to become a frosted Ch
3 guys walk into a pink hotel
Three guys walk into a pink hotel, they go threw a pink door, it's the pink reception desk and sign into the pink book.The lady dressed in pink walks them up the pink stairs, down a pink hall then gives them the pink keys to their pink rooms.They all walk into their pink room, put their suitcases down on the pink carpet, then place their clothes in a pink cupboard. They have a bath in their pink shower and dry themselves with the pink towels. They finally go to sleep in the pink beds.They wake in the morning and go downstairs to have breakfast. They have their pink bowls, pink cups and pink cutlery. When they are asked what they want for breakfast one man says he will have weatbix and the other two say they want cornflakes.Once they are finished their food, they pack their suitcases up and leave the pink hotel.The moral of this story is that two out of three people prefer cornflakes...
What do you call knifes and forks that have been cut into pieces?
cutlery
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